My daughter

We got to see her again.  We got 3 hours with her at a mall near her foster home.  So surreal.  Visiting with your 14-year-old hopefully-soon-to-be-daughter.  Surreal.  And amazing.  And so emotional to leave.  I feel like a chunk of me is missing.  In some ways very similar to the loss I would feel when John and I were dating long distance after each weekend visit.  But in some ways so different.  My mama-bear instinct is in full gear.  She is a child.  A mature and lovely and intelligent 14-year-old, but still a child.   And I have no way to communicate with her until our next visit!  

The stress and the excitement are causing me one heck of a backache and my sleep is all thrown off.  Strangely enough my body's response to all this is much the same as when I've been pregnant!  I guess my body doesn't care that I'm expecting a teenager and not a newborn!  

----

In other news, do you follow me on Instagram?  If not, you should click on over there and check out some of my recent posts.  I'm participating in an adoption/foster care share with #knittogetherbyadoption.  There's some awesome information and inspiring stories from a whole lot of fabulous moms.