So far in this process there have been three kids that we thought would be ours. The first was a young man. We prayed diligently that God would bring him home. And He did. This young man found his forever home - it wasn't with us, but he was adopted.
The second was a young woman finishing her junior year of high school. We prayed for her to come home, but also that God's will would be done in her life. She chose to stay where she was and age out of the system. While that might seem sad, I believe it was an opportunity for her to have a choice in her life. In a life that was often chaotic and where she had few choices, she was able to make the decision for herself to age out of the system rather than it just happening to her. God answered.
The third was another young woman. We prayed for her to come home, for her to have a family. Though we won't be able to adopt her, a relative stepped up and said they would like to.
None of these answers is what I want. But they are answers. And they are things that bring good to these children. And I suppose that is truly what I should desire.