Monday, January 26, 2015

The process beats you up

I feel beat up.  Beat up by the process.  It's completely emotionally draining.  It's been such a long time getting to this place.  Bad information, people quitting their jobs and random unexplained factors have made it seem like a lifetime ago that we started the process.  But it's not just the time that has me feeling beat up.  I got a copy of our home study and read it.  All 16 pages.  Mostly really great stuff, especially from the letters of support from our friends and family and from what John and I had to say about each other and our kids.  But it wasn't all good stuff and it wasn't all true.

There was the part when describing our bedrooms where it said we don't have an open bedroom or extra beds.  That's just not true.  We have 1 open bedroom, 2 open twin beds, and 1 open queen bed.  The open bedroom has been set up with a twin bed since we started our classes, long before the home study.  We walk by that room daily and think of our future child.  

And then there was the part that questioned our character because of our lack of patience in the process.  Yes, we were frustrated with the months of delay in writing the home study.  But that is because we are invested and we care.  That is what makes us good parents - we're already fighting for our kids.  

In the end, it doesn't really matter.  We're approved.  And we've already received some child profiles and we asked to be considered for a specific child.  But even in the midst of the hope, it's hard. 

"If there's a cause worth fighting for it's this: children belong in families." - Nicole Skellenger of MLJ Adoptions. Adoption Quotes

1 comment:

  1. It's a shame that the process beats you up. Makes us wonder why does it have to be so hard? Praying.