Friday, September 26, 2014
I've been playing Oceans on repeat tonight. John has a dinner meeting and the kids are already asleep and I'm caught up on everything. And I just feel lost. I want to understand where God is leading me.
For two years now, I've felt very clearly that God is calling us to adoption. We've been in the process for almost a year. And though we are much closer, we are not there. Where is God calling? What is He asking of us right now?
A few months ago we discussed abandoning domestic foster adoption in order to host 1 or 2 students from Rwanda. Ultimately we felt God saying to stay the initial course. Those students are now in the U.S.; they are someone else's children.
We've prayed for children by name and dreamed that they might one day be a part of our family. Some of them have found other families.
Psalm 68:6 says that God places the lonely in families. I'm filled with thanksgiving that these children we have prayed for have been placed in families. But it is bitter sweet. When will God place someone in our family?
And what does He want from me now?