Thursday, September 18, 2014

Losing Faith

Every month its a new reason why our home study isn't complete and approved.  Over the summer it was paperwork that hadn't come in from Kansas.  In August we heard, it's finally the time!  You are definitely on the docket.  Then we weren't.  But don't worry, we have plenty of time to be prepared for the September meeting.  But then the September meeting wasn't accepting new approvals, just revisiting previous cases.  Now it's October.  I'm losing faith.

I'm losing faith.  Ugh.  I hate to admit that, but it's true.  I told this to John this morning.  He responded later with a verse.  Hebrews 6:10-12.
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.
I'm trying to remind myself of God's truths.  Trying to remind myself that he is faithful.  Trying to be patient.

John also encouraged me to think of this as a glimpse into how our child feels.  He or she has likely been waiting longer than we have.  He or she is also at the mercy of the broken system.  My frustration and my sadness and my loss of hope is likely only a fraction of what my child feels.

It's so very hard.  Please join us in prayer for our social worker, for the process, for our faith, and especially for our future child and all the children out there waiting for families.

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