Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Satan sometimes wins

I've been wrestling for quite some time now with the reality that satan sometimes wins.  In fact, he wins a lot.  Sure, God wins overall.  God wins the war.  But satan gets a lot of the battles.  Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of satan.  I used to be that way.  If you are, just sub the word evil, instead.  But however you phrase it, the bad side gets some victories.  What I have to force myself to accept is that even though evil is present, God can and does bring good out of all things.

But it is so hard to live in this broken world.  To live in a world where children have no families and social workers just tell us to have patience.  I see satan all over in the bureaucracy of the foster care system!  And I know that God brings good.  I know that He is teaching us patience and He is teaching us to have even more fire and compassion for the children in the system.  And I pray constantly that He is working in the heart of my son(s) or daughter(s) in the midst of their circumstances.  But really, I'm pissed.  My child is most likely living in a group home (the nice way of saying orphanage here in the U.S.) not knowing that they have a family yearning for them.  Getting another year older without me.  Without being a part of a family.

Sometimes people try to comfort us by saying that it is all in God's timing.  I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that.  How is more time in an orphanage better?  God allows bad things to happen.  I get that.  It's all part of our free will.  But I don't believe that our loving and just and merciful God causes bad things to happen.  And I see so much of this waiting in adoption as a purely bad thing.  And this is not just about my personal adoption.  We have friends who went through the training classes with us.  They are fully approved by the state and yet are still waiting.  There are 100,000 kids in the U.S. waiting.  There are parents waiting.  That is not God.  That is satan.  I trust that God is bringing good into this situation, but it is not God's perfect timing.

Satan wins when people tell us how amazing it is that we are adopting and how they could never do it.  Satan wins when children grow up and age out of the system with no family because people think that it is someone else's calling.

I have more to say, but Lucy has just awoken from her nap.  I guess I just want to say that satan is real and evil is real and if we are not actively working for good and working to be God's hands here on earth, then we are giving satan an even more victories.  It's not just about adoption, obviously.  But just look at these kids.

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