Friday, March 23, 2012

A bad break-up

I'm still pretty sad about us not getting the house. I know it might seem silly to most people, but its not silly to me. My husband made an analogy that's just perfect in my opinion - he compared losing the house to a break-up. I'll go a little more specific than that - it feels to me like losing your first love when you didn't even see it coming. And similarly to a break-up, the best thing to do would probably be to get back out there. But of course, we can't because we live 650 miles away. So for now, I'm stuck "online dating" with the the internet profiles of houses.

Now I don't only want to take the negative aspect of the analogy. Like any break-up, there usually is a silver lining. For us, it's that we've opened up some new possibilities. We're willing to consider houses that need complete kitchen make-overs and even ones that need bathroom make-overs so long as it has more than one bathroom! I've also applied for a live-in position as a residence hall director at a local college. That would kill two birds with one stone - we'd get a place to live and I'd have a job (because, to be perfectly honest, the idea of being a full-time stay-at-home-mom still freaks me out!).

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Meant to be

We recently went on a whirlwind house-hunting trip. After doing hours of searching online, I narrowed down 200 or so potential houses to 17 that we would see over two days. Despite all my detailed combing through pictures, Google street view and Bing bird's eye view, we had many houses that were immediate no's. Most were just too small or too outdated. But we found one that was great. We knew that they were expecting another offer on the house, so we wrote a strong, clean offer. We even offered more money than our real estate agent suggested! But the next day they said no. Took the other offer and didn't even give us a chance to counter! I was (and still am) heartbroken.

Since then, I've had a lot of people say things along the lines of, "it just wasn't meant to be - God has something better in store for you". While on the outside these seems like perfectly nice statements, I have an issue with it theologically. "It just wasn't meant to be" and "everything happens for a reason", implies that God completely controls everything. If you truly believe that, then I see no way for you not to believe that God also causes bad things to happen. I have a friend who lost a baby to SIDS. Was that God? I have a nephew who suffers daily from a rare disease. Did God cause that? No! I don't believe that.

What I do believe is that God can help bring good out of all situations. He gives those mothers strength to make it through each day. He gives that boy little joys throughout his pain. And I'm sure that in a few month's time, we'll be settled in a new home and we'll be happy with it. Some will say it was "meant to be". And maybe they're right - maybe God did deliberately put that roadblock in our path to lead us in another direction. But maybe God is just gently helping us to move on.